There is only one way to eat shrimp, as I recently learned.  Of course, there are lots of ways to eat shrimp, and I enjoy every one of them. 

But I will have to agree with the southern folk I ate shrimp with, there really is only way to get the maximum benefit out of shrimp.

There were five entrees to that meal.  No, there were six.  I’ll classify the tea as an entree.  They are not necessarily named in importance.  In fact, I would be hard pressed to say which is the most important.  They all blended so seamlessly with each other.  They were: Red Lobster biscuits, Coleslaw, Fried Pickles, Fried Catfish, Shrimp, and Sweet Southern Tea.  I’m not so sure but what it ain’t that tea that made it all go ‘round.  That tea had substance to it.  Nutritional value, if you will.  That tea simply can’t be replicated anywhere else except down south.  You can try, but altitude or lack of humidity or any other factor will work against you.

The Shrimp have to be boiled.  And they have to have the shell on.  And they have to be fresh from the nearest fish market.  The Catfish need to be caught that day and fresh filleted just hours before the meal.  The guys that do the Catfish and shrimp, since they are so good at it, do the pickles also.  The muffins and Coleslaw are done right before the meal, the one still warm from the oven, the other chilled, straight from the fridge. 

Now here’s the deal.  If you get there a little early, the Master Shrimp and Catfish guys will invite you out to where they are working like mad.  They will point to a place where they have started their pile of Shrimp, Catfish, and fried Pickles.  They’ll say, “These here are just sorta the not so good ones.  Help yourself.”  So, you help yourself.  And immediately you start a journey that you don’t ever want to turn around on. 

Here’s the next deal.  Once you’re all sat down at the table, grace is said, and the food starts making its rounds, you realize you’ve tied into something that won’t let go of you.  You shell a shrimp and throw its hearty goodness all the way to the back of your mouth.  It’s so good you do it again.  They are a little spicy, so after a bit, you grab fried pickle, dip it in ranch dressing, and toss it back.  Its cool delectability is the perfect medium for the shrimp.  After several of those to cool your mouth down, you head on over to the steaming catfish.  Its golden breading has been taunting for the last few seconds anyway.  Total flakiness, and total flavor with no fish taste whatsoever send you into delirium tremens.  You ease up a bit on the fish and spoon in a bit of that chilled Coleslaw, since by now your mouth is steamed up again.  It sends its medicinal properties to work and soon you start eyeing those muffins.  They have been patiently waiting all the time, gazing longing at you.  You acquiesce and are immediately bombarded with a very hard decision to make.  Finish the meal out with them, or?  The sweet tea is the deal breaker.  After a few sips, it’s all over again.  And therein lies the problem.  It keeps going all over again in such a vicious circle.  It all fits so completely together that you can’t decide whether you just started a new circle or are ending one. 

I finally had to quit, as the remnants of several shrimp and a little muffin still looked wistfully up at me.  Limits had been exceeded and complications were beginning to set in that were bound to last for several days to come.  It was about then that an older gentleman, seated nearby, asked, “Where do you get your shrimp from, over there in Kansas?”

“You won’t understand,” I replied. 

“What do you mean?”

“Like I said, you won’t understand.  We get them from Walmart.”

“What?  From Walmart?  What do they taste like anyway?”

“Yeah, I knew you wouldn’t understand.”

But, if my thinker hadn’t been quite so sludged up, perhaps from the tea, and I had been able to respond a little quicker, I would have liked to have asked him,

“Where do you get your Ribeye’s from, over here in Florida?”

How about you Floridians bring some of your fresh shrimp with you over here to Kansas, and I’ll show you where we get our Ribeye’s from,  and how we fix them, sort of on the same evening we do your shrimp.

I’ll definitely want you folks to make the tea.