I’ve started this post at least ten times in my head. 

Maybe even more.

And the reason I never write it is because I’m scared.

I don’t feel like I have what it takes to give thoughtful advice on how to make a business work.

Mostly because I don’t have a lot of experience at it.

But I know some things I like, and some I dislike.

And an exchange I had this last week with the fellow in Staples made me smile enough that I thought maybe it was time to throw a few things out.

So, here’s what happened in Staples.

I walk in and quickly find the aisle with cables.  My son wants me to pick up a cable with HDMI male on one side, and USB female on the other. 

Okay, computer nerds, that’s a volatile combination.  Although I didn’t know it at the time.  Neither did I know that there is a nice little terminator that takes care of the volatility.

This guy walks up to me and asks if he can help me.  I say, “Yes, I’m quite sure you can.  All I need is a cord with HDMI male on one side and USB female on the other.  Just want to see if you have such or not.”

My confidence in his outward appearance is maybe a 1 out of 5 stars.  His eyes are bulging (He probably can’t help this) and they keep wanting to close on him as he walks towards me. 

As he gets closer, I see he has puffy welts here and there on his neck.  My mind wants to think drugs, but I settle on a lesser conclusion of allergies.

Our conversation goes like this—

Him-  Uh, well, you are in the wrong place to begin with.  The cables are over here. (showing me there)

Me-  Okay, yes I see.  Do you have the cable I am looking for?

Him-  What cable did you want?

Me- HDMI male to USB female.

Him- Uh well, I can see you don’t really know much about what you are asking for.

Me- Okay, tell me what I need.

Him- Well, you really don’t know much, or you wouldn’t be asking me what you are asking.

Me- Okay.  So, do you have the cord I’m talking about?

Him- Uh, well, what you want is impossible to do.  What was it you wanted to do again?

Me- HDMI male to USB female.

Him- Yeah.  I can see you really don’t know anything at all about this.

Me- Let me look again at the note my son sent me. (pulling out my phone, I read the note.)  Yeah, all he needs is HDMI male to USB female.

Him- Again, you clearly don’t know anything about this.  What is he trying to do? 

Me- Hook up another screen to his computer.

Him- What machine does he run?

Me- Mac.

Him- Oh, well then you are completely wrong on what cable you need.

Me- He just sent this to me.  He’s right in front of his compu—

Him- NO. No, you don’t want that at all.  You’ll need a (scramble of technical jargon)

Me- So, back to the cable I am looking for.  Do you have it or not?

Him- Look.  I have to tell you again.  This is electricity.  Clearly you don’t know anything about electricity either.  If you did, you wouldn’t even try this in the first place.  Cause, you know, if you do the wrong thing with electricity, it gets all balled up and blows up.  Yeah, you know you could have a real problem on your hands if you try this. 

Me- Okay, I’ll just see if I can find that cable here.

Him- No.  You won’t find it.  You’d be running electricity backwards and you just can’t do that.  You’ll end up with a short.  You know what a short is?  It’s when electricity goes backwards and blows things up. 

Me- (Thinking to myself but not saying anything out loud) Would you be pulling your info from the 2017 NEC or 2020 NEC (National Electrical Code)  Or, just so you know, electricity is how I make my living. 

Me- Okay, so you don’t have the cable then.

Him-  No, and I would really suggest you go home and try to learn more about this before you come back in.

Me- That’s rather blunt.

Him- I’m sorry man.  But it’s just what I got to say to folks like you.

I grab a cable, maybe or maybe not a bit out of spite, that is completely different than I came in for, thinking I’ll just make it work.

I go to Menards, and stand for long minutes in their cable aisle, hoping against hope I’ll find the cable.  Not that I would go back and show him or anything.

I call Austin while I’m there and tell him a bit of what Staples guy had to say.  He snorted and said, “I just ordered that cable online.”  And went on to tell me that the guy was partially right, that it wouldn’t work long without the terminator that the one he ordered had built in. 

So, I drove back to Staples, and ducked in while the cable/electricity guy was in the back and returned the cable I had so recently bought. 

I was really glad the clerks didn’t ask too many questions, and I kept my feelers out to my side and back in case cable/electricity guy came up and pounced on me with more helpful information.

I was sweating by the time I walked out. 

I guess I’ll save the other things I was going to throw out for another time.

Written in The Bake Shoppe