As much as I’m on the road, and as often as I drive on dusty roads, or muddy, (however infrequent that is this year, my truck picks up grime.

And, since one of our company goals is to present a clean-cut, professional image, I am tasked with washing my truck just as frequently as it picks up grime.

And do you know what? 

It’s actually cheaper to run it through a carwash in town than it is to charge the business my time to wash it by hand. 

I still wash it by hand for old times sake once in a while, though.

I’ve long since stopped haggling with the carwash attendants about what is in the back of my bed. 

Once, they wanted me to consider removing a chain from the bed as it might fly out under the high-pressure rays of water.  I chuckled about that one all the way through the wash.

So, before I even get close to the wash, I stow everything that might easily fly out of the bed inside my cab and remove the receiver hitch.

I know the drill, Please place your car in neutral, and I know not to drive into the wash at anything more than a crawl.

And now here is where the weird part comes in.

I guess with as keyed up as I get, trying to keep the guys all running in an efficient way, this little expedition of 2 minutes is my destress time.

In fact, I’ll go so far as to say I’m almost hypnotized into a bit of a stupor where my head drops and my chin lands on my chest and I’m mostly out until I hear, far away, the jet sound of the blow dryer at the end. 

I’ve even thought of recording that whole journey of sound and playing it as my sleep sound when I’m still awake at 2 in the morning.

And so, on a day no different than many others, I had started down the wash tunnel, head sagging, eyes glazed when I was rudely, and quite suddenly brought around to wide awake reality.

My head literally snapped forward and then whipped backwards all in the space of a millisecond.

And, you know how it is in those situations, it’s like you hear the details of all the sounds leading up to the event just a bit after what actually happened.

What I heard, afterwards, were shouts and hollers and then a really loud bang, all before my awakening.

I had been rear ended, right in there and of all places, in a car wash. 

I looked around and realized I was about halfway down the track, and all motion of the brushes and water had ceased.

A wash attendant approached my window and gestured to roll it down.

When I did, he asked if I was alright, to which I replied that I thought I was.

He asked again, even more concernedly, if I was okay, and I told him other than being a little bit jostled, I was okay, (although I know there are some of you that might contest that statement of mine even on a good day.)

He informed me that a lady had entered the carwash at a higher-than-normal rate of speed and had never shut it down, even when they hollered.  In fact, it seemed she had accelerated.

He told me he would start the wash and when I was through, I should wait outside for the lady and we could inspect the damage done.  He was going to have her back out rather than continue the wash.

I told him I’d be in the first parking spot of the vacuums, and she could meet me there.

Well, I vacuumed, and as I did, I kept an eye out to see when the damsel in distress would be headed my way.

But no damsel did.

I saw a couple of cars drive out, one white, and the other another color that I can’t remember right now.

After a few minutes the attendant came out to where I was still vacuuming and asked if the lady and I had made arrangements yet.

I said no, no one had stopped by.

“No way,” he said.  “That means she up and left!”

“I guess so,” I replied.

And then, he got this funny look in his eyes.

“We get to know these cars and the people in them if they are regulars,” he said.  “I know exactly who she is.  She works for the insurance firm 2 blocks west of here.”

He said he guessed we should drive over there and that she parked her white car right in front where we couldn’t miss it.

Except there was no white car there.